Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
