"it" just moved
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
