He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
