Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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