i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
