I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
