So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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