I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
