Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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