Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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