hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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