he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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