Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The power of my boobs compel you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
