Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
