I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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