i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
