he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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