he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
