i need an iv and a liver transplant
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
