Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He did a backflip because drugs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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