I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
