Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
