Umm I'm too high to move.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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