his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
