I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
