New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm having to shit out rocks
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
