He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
