just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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