Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i dont even know how to be here
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm both gender and math confused
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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