Will you blow on my dice?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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