i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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