I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
