Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
