dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
