I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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