I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
