I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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