man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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