he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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