1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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