Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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