That's when you crack a 10am beer
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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