I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I want is dick and wine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
