so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
