You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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