Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
