so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
