What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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