You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize