Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
