i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
